What Now?

The horse bolts. It is a wild thing, filled with manic energy and untamed directions. I feel the damp heat of its body and the hear the loud angry breath as it collides across the landscape. It is a machine that doesn’t seem to tire. The landscapes flash past. I see them. I know them. Hoof beats morph into heartbeats, pounding out a question with a ferocity I cannot deny… “What Now?”

I have had a few days now since the end of the telling of my story. I have to say, I kind of miss writing everyday. It has been over a week since I pulled the exhibition down, but I am still super busy. I kind of hate and love that super busy-ness. I love it because it gives me purpose but I hate it because I know I can’t keep this level up forever. The inability to sleep because my brain is stuffed full of ideas and my hands needing a pencil in them constantly, or waking up at weird hours of the night and having to write down a thought and then the days of running from one thing to the next and being unable to just…sit. I know it is the track to exhaustion, but I worry too that if I don’t get the things done now while I have this boundless energy, if I fall back into another cycle of mental struggle, I won’t be able to do them.

That is something I guess I will have to go through with my psych the next time I see her, but for now…I guess the biggest question in my mind is, “What Now?”. Well, to be honest, I have a lot of thoughts about that one. I have multiple projects in mind for next year. A couple of them are big, life changing things and I hope to take you along that journey with me. Some of them are the quiet hum of learning in the background when starting along a new direction for another exhibition series, that again will be a couple of years in the making.

People who have come by my blog because I was writing about the incredible online world of Second Life, might be finding all the art stuff not what they originally signed on for, but it was always who I was. The good news is that, I will be heading back into Second Life again for the new exhibition series. I have unfinished creative and philosophical work in there and truth be told, I miss it too. I think online worlds and how we build reality is even more topical today than it was when I was writing about it, so it’s as good a time as any to step back into that life…with a few changes to my process.

People who have come by my blog because of the exhibition and my writing about the artwork may also be thinking this is not what they have signed up for, but actually…you may find that it is. I will continue writing about my artwork and expand out into other art topics as well. I have new processes to learn in the making of the new series and that is always a wild ride. I would like to do a better job of documenting it all this time around and let people see into the process of what it is like to develop a series of work from the beginning to the actual pieces on walls exhibition time. I also have some other big projects rumbling along that I am eager to share with you when they get closer to forming into reality.

I have been busy in my real life. We have had open studio weekends here and I just love it. I love being a part of the art community. I have had the pleasure of visiting other people’s studios and chatting with artists and even buying artwork from local artists. It feels like a festival. I love seeing the artists happy and chatting to people about their work and getting to sell their work in whatever form they might choose. I love watching people visit artists studios and not being afraid to approach artists and ask questions and have conversations. It is something we don’t get to do very often when we are sitting in our studios usually. I think next year, I would like to be a part of it, but I am glad for this year, I was able to visit and hang out and listen to conversations.

I am also preparing for Supernova which is a popular culture convention here a little bit like Comicon. I have a table in artists alley with my oldest daughter and I only have a couple of weeks now to do the last minute rush of preparation for it. I was up late last night working out square and how to link it to the website and updating some things here too like my portfolio and my shop…and the boring artist blah page. It’s all important but often gets neglected because other things get in the way. However, with Supernova just around the corner, it was time to do it.

After that, I hope to take my family away for a holiday. We are waiting to see if our passports get to us in time in to go overseas this year, but if they don’t I have an alternative destination in mind. Either way, we are taking time and going away. Sometimes, I have to force the downtime. I know I will come back refreshed and revitalised and ready for the HUGE year to come, and the work can wait. It can’t really, but it’s important that I at least practice stepping away from it!!

The horse whinnies a challenge, loud and clear like a bell in the dead of night. It is thunder in my ears. His constant movement is making me dizzy and I am unsure of my footing. I consider for a moment. He is a wild thing, but so am I. She smiles and holds out her hand. He stops to stare at her with unreadable purpose.

His ragged breath sounds like a question, “What now?”

She answers quietly, calmly, “Come with me and find out.”